Dating (with a plan)
There is this thing we do in America now. It is called dating. Dating someone is how you get to know them, hopefully for a decent amount of time, before you get married. If you are like me, you want a good Godly person to stand beside for the rest of your life. Hold your horses though! We need to take baby steps and start out right. Now, dating is scary, but it doesn’t have to be terrifying. Anybody can do it with the right plan. Here is some advice if you are thinking about dating or are currently in a relationship.
Do you have a map?
Do you know what type of person you are, in a relationship?
Do you know what type of person you want to be with in a relationship?
Do you know what direction you want your life to go in?
Do you know who you want to become?
If you said no to anyone of these questions, you need to pause. Go and talk these questions over with someone you trust (a youth pastor, or Godly mentor). Before you start walking you need to know what direction you’re headed in. You want to date someone who has a direction as well. If you don’t have direction you will end up being lost. Before you enter the dating world, discover your direction, map out your route (have a plan to become your goal), then you can start thinking about a travel companion.
Walk that Path!
So, you have decided to walk a certain path. You want to serve the church. You maybe want to gain more biblical wisdom. You have a passion to know Christ more, stay pure until marriage, and follow a path towards something great. This is going to help you find a great relationship, and here is why!! When you commit to your path, it will dramatically increase the chances of you crossing paths with someone who has committed as well. Your brain is sensitized to the characteristics of someone pursuing a Godly relationship. To sum it all up! You want a person who pursues the same path you want. Keep on your path, and you will find them!! If you are pursuing the Lord, and someone you find attractive is deeply rooted in the things that come with pursing the lord as well. It will be obvious to you, and the people who mentor you, that you should start dating. It is that simple.
If you are on a date, you should be focusing on getting to know them. Over dinner or coffee, ask questions and share stories, experiences, interests, etc. Learn about them! After you know the basics, you need to MAKE A PLAN. Here is the average date initiative between the average couple over text:
Guy: Hey babe, are we still hanging out tonight?
Girl: Yea 🙂 what do you want to do?
Guy: Idk, what do you want to do?
Guys: Idk, bleh bleh bleh Protein Shakes and football
I may have been paraphrasing, but that is the sad truth. Do you even like each other?? Come on, you both have interests, hobbies, and passions that you could support each other with. You think ball is life, go practice your jump shots and get each other’s rebounds. You both sing in the musical so have a jam session. You go to the same church?! First of all you are lucky…. foreal…. that’s awesome, but go to the worship service, volunteer together, bible study, etc. Being intentional is the sure fire way to find commonality between you and your potential companion.
Simple right? Yeah, absolutely not. Being yourself is a hard task especially in front of someone whose opinion of you actually matters. So when you feel like they might not be into you before the night even begins, just remember one thing! You are incredibly valuable and loved. That’s right, I’m pulling the Jesus Card. Seriously, have that confidence with you wherever you go. God loves you no matter what. You can be creative with date ideas, talking with your date, and can be strong enough to have a direction for yourself. You need to be able to stand for your values, and the life you want to live. If they don’t share the same interest, then it is ok to end that relationship. If you have picked a date correctly, have chosen a Godly path, and are intentional about how you choose to date, this will all work itself out. Be Godly, Be Intentional, and Be Yourself,
And if all you need is a pick up line, I got you fam!
“Hey, I was reading the book of Numbers, and I was wondering, can I have yours?”
This blog entry by Marshall, SRT Summer Intern